Day 7

Today was a rough day. I don’t know what made it more difficult than others since there were so many contributing factors, it was just the toughest day I’ve had so far. I’m at the point where I want the day to end and to start over fresh tomorrow.

I really miss Jon, more than I ever thought I would. I miss having him to talk to about whatever happened today. I miss hearing him read Lucy books at bedtime. I miss waking up next to him in the morning. I really miss having adult conversation during meals.

I hear myself telling people that I shouldn’t complain about him being gone since I knew that this was part of the deal when I decided to start a life with him, but I want to complain. I want to scream about how this part of our life together sucks. But for some stupid reason I keep thinking that somewhere in this world, there is a military spouse who has it worse than me and because of that family, I should be grateful that I even know where my husband is and have the ability to talk to him. I am grateful for all those things and many more.

I just wish I didn’t feel so guilty saying I want him to come home.