Day 67

I had a good conversation with some of my girlfriends today about OPSEC (Operational Security for those non-military readers). One of the things they constantly remind us of in the military is not to discuss information regarding deployments, travel dates, locations of travel, exercises, etc because you never know who is listening or who is asking the questions. The person asking questions about where your husband is and why might be the reason that your husbands tasking (job) is jeopardized. Basically, the military reminds us to only tell people the necessary information, which might be nothing.

It was interesting to hear how much information we end up having to keep from our families, friends and the like. We've even had to keep information from each other (my girlfriends and I). There once was a time I felt like I couldn't tell people anything because I was afraid of what might happen if I accidentally slipped and told my parents about an exercise on base (again, for all you non-military, exercises are practice scenarios of threatening situations). After a few years of this, you just forget that its an issue. You become so accustomed to not talking about it, that you forget it even exists.

The conversation made me start to think about what things would be like if Jon couldn't tell me where he was going for this deployment. I have friends who never know where their husbands are until the day they return. "What if that was me?" was all that ran through my mind.

I'm lucky enough to know where Jon is. There is a little stress while we wait for him to head to his final duty station, but its better then not knowing that was the case. Its still less stressful then wondering where he is and if he's ok every minute we are apart. Deployments are hard no matter what, but adding that stress would make things a whole different ball game.

I wonder how much of an impact this withholding information thing will be on my life. After 5 years of not telling people things, it makes me wonder if I'll be able to change it. I'm already accustomed to not knowing my husbands flight information on a regular basis or where exactly he is sometimes. For all I know, he's in a totally different place then what he tells me now. I can't begin to imagine the stress that would put on me if I was in his shoes. Keeping secrets from your family is never easy, especially if you are placing yourself in danger. But its the way of the military. Its the way of our life. A lot of people don't understand it or think that its bad way to establish a healthy marriage and family. But for military families, its what we do. As married couples, we learn a different way to bond with our spouses. We know that we might not always come first, but we are never far from their thoughts. We learn to understand that sometimes those secrets are to protect us as well.

It was nice to hear from other spouses that I'm not the only one who feels left out of the loop sometimes or has a hard time not talking about certain things. Its just one more of those things that makes military spouses have that special bond-one that is difficult to explain, but that you couldn't survive this life without. Thanks ladies!

**the pic is from last fall when Jon had to get all dressed up for a dinner. Its not often that Lucy gets to see him all spiffed up :)