the little things

I spent the last two weeks dealing with lots of stuff. Not only did Kelly have to go to the vet, but Lucy ended up sick on Wednesday night. It was a night of laundry, cuddles and late night movies on the couch while I comforted her. She eventually got over the it but not before getting sick on her bed, my bed and the couch. It was the first time she's ever thrown up (spit ups don't count), which made me realize I need to count my blessings.

Some days I have a hard time seeing how the little things can make up for the one shitty thing that happened that day. Having Kelly cuddle up close or Lucy ask for kisses surely makes up for the fact that my day sucked. I've just had a tough time "seeing" those little things lately.

I feel that I am a positive person. I do my best to surround myself with positive people and thoughts. After the last 6 months, the last thing I need is to be around a person or situation that provokes negativity in my life. That's not to say that I'm not a friend you can come to when you need to talk or that I won't listen to how bad your day/week/month was. Its just that I refuse to let myself be engulfed by someone's negative attitude. Everyone should be able to find positive light in their life. I almost always try to help a friend who is down in the dumps see something amazing about their day/week/life.

I just haven't been able to find that light for myself the last week or so. I know its there...I just don't seem to have the energy to look at it. Its been a tough 2 weeks dealing with my life and the worries that surround it. I'm sure its just the realization that I only have a few weeks until Baby #2 arrives and I don't feel prepared for it yet. Not having my husband here is definitely not the way I pictured having any of my children. Nor is the idea that he is out having dinner with new friends enjoying a new culture while I'm stuck at home changing poopy diapers and essentially attached to my newborn.

Being reminded of how lucky I am to have a wonderful family (even the family far away) is bringing me closer to my positive light. The little things, like the way Lucy smells after a bath or when she helps me clean up the house, are helping me see that light more and more.

I'm grateful that I'll have the support from my Dad that I wouldn't have if he weren't going to be here. I'm grateful for Lucy and her funny little morning routine that includes talking about where all her animals slept last night. I'm grateful for my healthy dog who is in the prime of her life and enjoying every minute of it. I'm grateful for my friends who remind me I'm not alone when I feel the shittest.

Sometimes, I think we just need to see the little things to make the light brighter.