my little love story

Five years ago I married my soul mate. It was the same old story; girl gives up on love, meets boy of her dreams and falls madly in love. Our story has many ups and downs the first year of our relationship. But all of those things made us even stronger in the long run. They prepared us for the life we now have and taught me that my husband is more romantic then I ever gave him credit for.

Our first date was a ROTC dining out. It was formal and Jon was the organizer to boot. That meant he was basically in charge of the whole event and we had to sit at the head table, socialize with the guest speaker and his Colonel for the majority of the night. It was a tall order to fill for 2 people who hadn't been on a date together or even alone in the same room before. I won't lie, after he asked me to go with him, I was on a high the whole weekend just thinking about how it was about time we went on date. A year of friendship and flirting was finally paying off!

After months of dating, Jon got orders to DC. It was inevitable he was going to move, but I thought I would be in a place where I wanted to further our relationship. I surprised myself when I realized I wasn't ready to move anywhere and wasn't 100% sure I wanted to maintain a long distance relationship. Because Jon knew the long distance thing was unlikely to work without two fully committed people (he had his doubts too) and me moving was probably a little too soon in our relationship, we broke up. It was the WORST break up I've ever had. I spent days crying thinking that I'd lost the one thing in my life that made sense. Friends tried to reassure me I was making the right choices for myself, but I just couldn't see it.

The night before he left for DC, we talked and I found closure with him. It sounds strange, but when he walked out the door, I knew that I had made the right decision for myself. It doesn't mean it didn't break my heart to see him go, just that I knew it wasn't the right time for us.

Over the next 4 months fate kept intervening in our lives. Even though he was a thousand miles away, somehow fate managed to keep reminding us of each other. From a lost cell phone to our shared friendships it was hard to forget Jon.

That Christmas, my family decided to celebrate in Walt Disney World. Who should decide to meet me there Christmas Eve? Jon. The guy who people thought didn't have a romantic bone in his body drove from school in Alabama to meet me and ask me to move to Washington DC. This guy who I never imagined would feel the same love for me that I felt for him wanted to spend Christmas Eve with me and my family.

The moment I saw him, I knew I wasn't letting him go again. It felt right that we took the break from each other to see how real our feelings were even though that was never the intention. That first hug from him was all I needed to know my life would be forever changed.

I never saw myself as a military wife. I thought I would live in Minnesota forever. I would raise my kids and play with them in same lakes and parks I went to as kid. I didn't think I had the strength in me to move as often as we do or to raise a family without my family nearby. But because of our friendship and love, my husband has shown me that I have so much more in me then I ever imagined. My life is so full of love and happiness, that I can't imagine it any other way. Its obviously not the easiest life when it comes to separations or saying hello/goodbye to new friends every few years. But its our life...and to me that's what matters most.

So to my love, my heart, my everything...Happy Anniversary. Our love story just keeps getting better and better....

Gas anyone?

Oh my goodness...the last week around my house has been filled with noises you think you would only hear in a frat house.

I don't remember my first pregnancy ending with me burping constantly. Its disgusting to be honest with you. I wake up and the first thing I do every morning is sit on the edge of my bed and burp 3 times. Not small lady-like burps, giant I-just-slammed-a-beer burps. Its obnoxious to say the least. But I feel so much better afterward.

I don't know where the gas is coming from. I've been avoiding soda for days now and I'm hardly what you would call a "fast eater". I've even been avoiding my Tums since I know they can cause me to burp. But there it is, the burps you could hear a mile away. Yesterday I was walking Kelly in the woods when I lost control and belched so loudly that you have to call it a belch because burp just isn't sufficient enough.

Lucy thinks its hilarious...she giggles and says "mommy has hiccups" because its never one, usually its two or three at a time. I'm in the process of teaching her manners so I do my best to say "excuse me" after each one, but she thinks its more funny because sometimes the "excuse me" is interrupted by a burp. Attractive right? Now I just have to hope Lucy doesn't learn to burp her ABC's!

Haircuts and good days

I decided today was the day I was going to get Lucy's haircut. I got her an appointment at the salon I go to with a great stylist who knows how to cut curly hair.

I hyped up the haircut talking about how big girl it was and how cool she was going to look. But when we got there, she said, "Mommy cut hair. Lucy not cut hair today". I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I was determined to cut her hair.

Of course, she pulled the crying act until the owner, Sandi, brought out some hair rollers and a super cool pink brush for Lucy to play with. Believe or not, those items beat out the mommy-bribe-sucker.

We cut about 2 inches off. Its crazy because with her curly hair, it almost looks the same length it did before, but I see the difference. I know that pony tails are basically out for a while and that my favorite pig tails are a thing of the past for now. It looks WAY better the it did, healthy and thick. Plus, its a super cute bob.

The best part of the day? Lucy walking out of the salon and saying "Mommy? Best sucker, best day ever!"

The Food War

When I was young and naive, I used to see parents giving in to their children at meal times. I was appalled at the amount of chicken nuggets, french fries or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I saw win the battle over vegetables and fruit. I swore that my kid would never be that way. They would eat what was in front of them or not eat at all. Well, I've since learned sometimes things don't go as you plan.

Lu was always a great eater from the beginning. She ate green vegetables like a champ despite the constant barrage of people telling me she wouldn't. She tried everything at least once before turning up her nose at it. In fact, Lucy hated plain rice cereal. It had to have some flavor for her to eat it. Even when we gave up the Gerber foods, she ate things most kids wouldn't. Asparagus, Sweet Potatoes, Fresh Ravioli, anything that I put on her plate she ate. I was so proud and thought we were on the road to successful eating. Then she turned 2.

The last month has been a war when it comes to Lucy's eating habits. She only wants peanut butter and jelly or french fries. I'm sure I'm partly to blame since I've been cooking meals for 1.5 people every night for the last 6 months. We ended up sharing things like a breast of chicken or slice of pizza. Leftovers became so regular here, that I thought I was going to scream if I had to eat chicken or pasta for 3 days in a row (lunch AND dinner) again. So the giving in came naturally. When I would ask Lucy what she wanted for dinner, I pretty much just made whatever she wanted. I tried to include healthy items, but I guess I was so busy I didn't notice the day she stopped eating vegetables.

The battle got so bad last week that after 30 minutes of crying and fighting with her, I took her dinner away and told her she was done. I felt terrible. In my defense, Lucy would take a bite of her dinner, chew it and then spit it into her hand. Not only is that not appropriate at the table, it was proof she wasn't going to eat. She cried for a pb & j the whole 30 minutes. I knew I had to remain firm, but it was so hard. She hadn't eaten more then a few bites at breakfast and lunch that day, so I knew she had to be at least a little hungry. But I followed through and took the food away, my heart breaking as I poured the chicken into Kelly's food dish.

That night, I asked Jon to help me talk to her via Skype about her eating habits. Even though she kept her head down the whole time and kept trying to change the subject, I knew that having Jon tell her she needed to start eating without crying was getting through to her. Its hard to discipline your kids when your a thousand miles away and on a computer screen, but I hoped she understood what we expected of her.

The next morning, Lucy woke up starving. I didn't give her a choice, and she looked at the oatmeal with wide eyes. As soon as she looked like she was going to cry, she seemed to get a hold of herself and picked up her spoon to begin eating. She ate the whole bowl of cereal and asked for more! I gave her a banana and sent her on her way. I was so excited I didn't have to fight to make her eat that I did a little happy dance in the kitchen.

The war still wages on here, but overall its much better. It looks like Mommy is winning for now. We had a small skirmish about eating chicken last night, but she knew I meant business and the minute that piece of chewed up chicken started to drop into her hand, she decided to put it back and finish swallowing the meat. I was only able to get her to take one bite of chicken, but that's better then before.

Now I understand what all those parents went through and trust me, I get the giving in to chicken nuggets. I'm just hoping I can stop giving in and start teaching her what good eating is again. I know it will help once Daddy comes home for sure. But in the meantime, I have to stick to my guns.

Where have the last 6 months gone?!

I knew when I had kids that someday I would have to start keeping a schedule. Tracking appointments, dance classes, playdates, school events, etc. But I honestly didn't think that when my daughter was 2 years old, I would depend so much on a calendar.

The other day when I was at my OB appointment, they told me it was time to make all my remaining appointments. I looked at the lady dumbfounded and asked "Why in the world would we do that?" She smiled and said, "My dear, you only have 7 weeks left before your due date. At this point we need to see you at least every 1-2 weeks until the baby arrives". I looked at her with what I'm sure was a shocked expression as I came to the realization that my pregnancy is almost over. And then it hit me...my life just got considerably busier.

As I pulled out my IPod to check my calendar so I could make the appointments, I noticed that I have something scheduled nearly every day of the week for Lucy or I. It wasn't exactly easy to make the appointments and despite the frustration of the lady helping me (who kept telling me I should have done this a month ago because it would've been easier), we got it all figured out.

So I went home and started marking up the calendar that I use to use for counting down J's deployment. Now its covered in scribbles that say things like "PICTURE DAY!" or "Lunch Date with XYZ". I've even marked Lucy's school and dance days just so I don't forget (because I actually forgot that Lucy had school this past Tuesday until 8am).

I'm not really a super organized person. I'm the mom who hides the mess in a drawer or closet to be dealt with at a later time (it took 2 years to clean out an Armoire in my living room). When I do manage to find the time, I'm all about organizing clothes by size to be put away and could spend hours buying shelving and Tupperware to straighten up a room. Its just that I always seem to find something better to do. But now with one little angel in school and another on the way, I realized I actually need to become a little more organized.

One of my mommy friends had this great little organizer the last time I saw her. It was bursting at the seams with notes and mail. At the time I thought, thank goodness I don't have to worry about something like that to schedule my days yet. Three weeks later here I am, wondering if I'm missing an appointment or a playdate and wishing I had one of those handy little organizers.

I don't necessarily want my children's lives to be filled with non stop classes and school. To me, play time is essential to mental and physical development. I just have to figure out how I can better manage our time and schedule. I guess I just didn't realize that I would have to "grow up" so soon.

the little things

I spent the last two weeks dealing with lots of stuff. Not only did Kelly have to go to the vet, but Lucy ended up sick on Wednesday night. It was a night of laundry, cuddles and late night movies on the couch while I comforted her. She eventually got over the it but not before getting sick on her bed, my bed and the couch. It was the first time she's ever thrown up (spit ups don't count), which made me realize I need to count my blessings.

Some days I have a hard time seeing how the little things can make up for the one shitty thing that happened that day. Having Kelly cuddle up close or Lucy ask for kisses surely makes up for the fact that my day sucked. I've just had a tough time "seeing" those little things lately.

I feel that I am a positive person. I do my best to surround myself with positive people and thoughts. After the last 6 months, the last thing I need is to be around a person or situation that provokes negativity in my life. That's not to say that I'm not a friend you can come to when you need to talk or that I won't listen to how bad your day/week/month was. Its just that I refuse to let myself be engulfed by someone's negative attitude. Everyone should be able to find positive light in their life. I almost always try to help a friend who is down in the dumps see something amazing about their day/week/life.

I just haven't been able to find that light for myself the last week or so. I know its there...I just don't seem to have the energy to look at it. Its been a tough 2 weeks dealing with my life and the worries that surround it. I'm sure its just the realization that I only have a few weeks until Baby #2 arrives and I don't feel prepared for it yet. Not having my husband here is definitely not the way I pictured having any of my children. Nor is the idea that he is out having dinner with new friends enjoying a new culture while I'm stuck at home changing poopy diapers and essentially attached to my newborn.

Being reminded of how lucky I am to have a wonderful family (even the family far away) is bringing me closer to my positive light. The little things, like the way Lucy smells after a bath or when she helps me clean up the house, are helping me see that light more and more.

I'm grateful that I'll have the support from my Dad that I wouldn't have if he weren't going to be here. I'm grateful for Lucy and her funny little morning routine that includes talking about where all her animals slept last night. I'm grateful for my healthy dog who is in the prime of her life and enjoying every minute of it. I'm grateful for my friends who remind me I'm not alone when I feel the shittest.

Sometimes, I think we just need to see the little things to make the light brighter.